My Ramblings of Motherhood

Terrible Twos is a Myth..Or so I thought !

2010-09-16T10:08:00.000-07:00

We just celebrated our little munchkin's 2nd birthday not too long ago, and I still couldn't believe that she is officially 2 years old.
When I was pregnant (which still seems like yesterday) I always heard mothers say "Oh my god, when my son/daughter hit the terrible two phase, it was like a huge nightmare! So enjoy being pregnant because when they're out, they're harder to take care of, and watch out when they turn 2!" After hearing the same thing over and over, I just decided to ignore what they have said and told myself that terrible twos is just a myth...
OR SO I THOUGHT!!!!!...
Now that she is more independent and knows how to say "NO" when she doesn't get her way-OMG! she can throw the biggest hissy fits. Just this morning, when it was time to change her pull-ups, she cried, screamed, banged her head on the floor and kicked me because I pulled her bottoms, and she wasn't in the mood to get her pull ups changed. I was so frustrated, I almost cried. Does this mean that I am a bad parent because I don't know how to control my own child? (sigh). Well I don't know the answer to that...They were right, it was a huge nightmare, and I find myself so helpless during these episodes.
What just happened to my gorgeous baby? She developed from being so cute and always happy into a fiend of mischief overnight.
I guess I'll just have to consider this as a learning curve. But for now, Oh please fairy god of motherhood, give me more patience and luck ;-)

Being far away from my child for the first time

2010-04-08T07:49:00.000-07:00

Wow! It has been a while since my last post..Well a lot of things had happened. I went back to school, we moved back to my mom's house to save money and I got so busy trying to tackle everything. Still I find motherhood a very hard work, especially if you add a career change making decision. But so far I am making it work. I have two classes this semester; and I am happy to say that I got done early with one of my classes, so all I have to do is go to school on Mondays. I am doing great with school!! I am so elated...Hubby is very supportive with everything. And I want to thank God for giving me a wonderful husband; and he is a very hands on dad, that makes it a lot easier for me...

Speaking of my loving husband, we got a phone call in the afternoon of Easter from his older brother Charley. He told us that Grandpa Charley (my father-in-law) passed away....
My husband and daughter flew up to Michigan yesterday for Grandpa Charley's funeral...

May you rest in peace Charley Simeon Kerr <3 <3 <3

Aside from being so sad for my husband and his family's loss, I am very lonely because my child has never been away from me. The fact that she is 500 miles away is so heartbreaking. So this is how it feels when you are far away from your child? It sucks, big time !!! I actually cried last night because I miss them so much, and I did not sleep well at all.
I know they will be back on Saturday, and I cannot wait.

For the mean time, I am just going to try and keep myself busy. My sympathy are with them up in Michigan.

Changing Careers in the Future

2009-10-28T12:12:00.000-07:00

After a few years of hiatus, I have finally decided to go back to school and pursue a nursing degree. I strongly feel that being a nurse is my calling after contemplating for a while. Lately, I have been really thinking about my family's future, and decided that going back to college is best for us. I want to see myself being satisfied in every aspect of my life someday, doing the kind of job that I enjoy most which is to help people. I cannot imagine how many times that I have pictured myself in a hospital setting particularly in the ER, doing all the nurse stuff, like in an episode of a discovery channel hospital show.
And now here I am, just waiting for the spring semester to start so I can go ahead and start a new career.
Don't get me wrong, being a hairstylist is one of those good lucrative careers out there right now, but the only thing is, benefits and retirement is not that good. I need a long term career with very good benefits and retirement and because i really don't see myself utilizing my comb and scissors for 25 more years. But I owe it to being one though, because it taught me how to be a people-person. It made me understand cultural diversity and how to cope with it, just by meeting new individuals everyday from almost every part of the world and having interesting conversations, in which I am sure that it will come in handy when I deal with a new set of co-workers and patients someday. It surprises me at times on how much a person opens up to you just by doing their hair. It makes me feel like I am their therapist. :-) I have probably met hundreds and hundreds of people in the last 7 years of being a hairstylist. I have learned a lot and I certainly developed a great bond with most of them. So for that, I am grateful that I am a hairstylist.
But its finally time to do what I have always wanted to do. I know it took a very long time to decide whats best for my family especially for ME. To start off, I am going back part time for my first semester because I really don't want to overwhelm myself, and start from there. I am still going to work as a hairstylist while being in school. I don't want us to be broke of course! It will probably take me a couple of years till I finish, but I am determined and optimistic about all of this. And it will make me feel so much better as a person. Its time for me to work and quit bumming around.
Oh gosh I will be so busy juggling work, school and motherhood. Though I know it is all going to be worth it in the end :-)

Thoughts on Planning my Little Munchkin's 1st Birthday

2009-08-13T18:24:00.001-07:00

Okay! Lorelai's 1st Birthday is coming up so rapidly. It'll be here in 3 weeks, and I am racking my brain planning for it. I've thought of a theme already- Ladybug Theme, 'cuz she is our lucky charm and we ocassionally call her ladybug...I've figured out what kind of foods to serve, and I've decided that I am going to make her birthday cake instead of ordering from a store. I told myself that this is my daughter's 1st birthday and I am going to make it so damn personal and special, so making the cake myself will make it incredibly special.
Three weeks is not that long, and I am buying things here and there whenever I get the chance and trying to stretch the budget, because we don't have the money to buy things all at once. And its so sad sometimes because my siblings are all in the Philippines. I wish they are all here to help me plan this party, especially my older sister, she's a great party planner and I am sure she will make my life so much easier if she was here. But I am thankful at the same time 'cuz at least my Mom's here to help me out, but the truth is, you can't really rely her on party planning. Albeit that she will help with the cooking and stuff, but it is all on me baby !!!.......
I've bought the plates, plastic silverware, balloons, streamers, table liners and some cute decorations for the tablescape, the cake pan, the #1 candle and the party favors. So a couple of days before the birthday, all I have to do is buy the ingredients for the food and the cake. Oh man ! I am going to contribute to Sam's Club's revenue on that shopping day, BIG TIME !!! LOL !
It sounds like I am possibly going to go overboard with her 1st birthday, but I don't care really. A lot of people told me that there's no reason to do a lot because they won't even remember it. So I was just like nodding and agreeing with them when they were saying these things, but in the back of my head, I said "This is a very big deal, 'cuz this her very first birthday! So I am going to make it extra special for all of us. And I will make sure to get good pictures and videos so she can see it when she gets older." Well, its my child and I will do what I think is best for her and all of us.
Well, I guess we shall see if I am really going to go overboard with all of this and I am crossing my fingers that I will live up to my expectations...........Oh I think I am just going looney over this.

2009-08-05T22:17:00.000-07:00

To summarize my life for the past few months, I'll just say "REALLY BUSY". I haven't blogged in a while I know; life's just so hectic for me right now....
My last entry was about Lorelai's VCUG, and I am happy to say that the results came back normal. Its just probably some kind of a health fluke. And so far she's been growing up right before our eyes. She's 11 months ! Wow ! Where did time go??? She'll be 1 next month....
I just realized that if you have a child, you can't ever, ever be selfish. Every thing's about them, and they can devour your time, hence your whole life. Although in exchange of that, they are so much fun, and they make you understand that life is just not great in this earth without children. Just like the old adage "Children are God's Blessings". And yes having a child is just like feeling God's love.
Being a parent, especially being a mom, is something different. I feel like I'm working 24/7, even in my sleep, I dream about work, the baby's well being, our household, laundry,driving and washing dishes. It just never ends. I am not gonna lie and say "Oh it's a piece of cake!". Yeah right! Its rough, and sometimes I feel like I want to cry because I'm not sure if I'm doing every thing right. Or I don't even know what right or wrong is in regards to raising a child. I know it has been 11 months, but I am still overwhelmed. It doesn't matter how many times I talk to different people about how they deal with parenthood, I still feel like nobody understands me but me. So here I am just trying to take it all in, and also trying to do whats best for me and my family.
Well enough of this whining..I'm sure I'll figure a lot of things out as I go.
My hubby and baby are asleep, and that's all I care about for now. The two people that I mostly care about are resting, and that puts me at ease to know that they are here with me in the other room-and they're off to dreamland :-)

Voiding CystoUrethrogram

2009-03-26T13:18:00.000-07:00

I woke up one morning last month, because I felt that my baby Lorelai is shivering ( yes she sleeps in between us, and I am pro c0-sleeping ) and I immediately looked at her and she was ashy,her lips were kind of bluish. And I talked to her softly while looking at her eyes to see if she would smile, because she smiles a lot especially first thing in the morning. She was just staring in space and her whole body was shaking like she was in the freezer.I put my hand on her forehead and it was warm to the touch. That freaked me out and I shook my sleeping husband's body, and I was panicking. He stood up in shock, and I ordered for him to get a thermometer right away. It registered 101.9 F. And as my husband was in the process of calling her doctor, she threw up, and that freaked us out even more....
We got to the doctor's office and we told him what happened. He checked her temperature again and it was 100.5 this time. Then several minutes later he said that she needed to get admitted at the hospital, and she's going to go through a series of test. He called in and let the hospital staff know that we are on our way.
We were walking so fast, we dashed through the automatic sliding doors to the admissions. And a minute later we headed up to the pediatric floor.
The nurses didn't waste no time and started with a plethora of medical tests-starting with getting some blood work. Seeing her being poked with needles and of course she was crying hysterically it breaks my heart. My husband and I were crying too, because we couldn't do anything. Those tests needed to be done. They had a hard time finding a vein, it took them 5 times till they got some blood. Then they had to use a catheter to get a urine sample because she just wasn't peeing at that time-that made me cry so hard because she was crying hysterically-I know damn well that that catheter thing hurt really bad-can you just imagine how painful it must have been for her?. They also did an ultrasound and x-ray. And the last was a spinal tap-to check for meningitis-the doctor made us leave the room so I didn't see the actual procedure, and i don't think i can handle that one. Just hearing her painful cries in the hallway broke my heart even more, and I cried even harder. It was just a very stressful day for all of us. I know it was too much for her little body, but they have to find out the source of her fever...
She had a high fever episode that night of 103.6-and thank God that we are already in the hospital and they immediately gave her some tylenol to help lower it down.
The next day, they found e.coli in her urine. The doc explained that it was a bad case of a urinary track infection,hence the source of the fever. He ordered a couple of antibiotic shots. Then we stayed another day because she needed to be fever-free for 24 hours before she can be discharged.
I wasn't expecting that they take UTI's in infants very seriously so then we had to go to the Nemours Children's Hospital in Wilmington Delaware. In fact we went today and we saw a nephrologist. She's suspecting that her bladder might be having a reflux, so we have to come back next week for another test. The test is called VCUG-Voiding CystoUrethrogram which they are going to have to drain her bladder and fill the bladder with a iodinated contrasting agent and then she's going to have to void under a camera to see how her bladder and kidneys work. I guess its like an angiogram, except its in the excretory/urinary system.
I just hope that every thing's going to be ok. I am still stressed about all of this....

I guess this is what a mother feels when her child is sick. IT SUCKS !!!

march snowflakes

2009-03-02T13:52:00.000-08:00

I woke up really early yesterday morning, the first day of March. Instead of going to the bathroom first, I peeked through the window just to see if its snowing. Because the night before, the weather channel said that there might be possible snow showers...I was like "Okay, no snow." So I went on with my Sunday morning ritual, whilst my hubby and baby were still sleeping-then I headed to work.

Everybody at work were talking about a snow storm coming in, and they were expecting for some 4-6 inch accumulation. And I said I'll believe it when I see it." Because how many times that they have called for snow for the last couple of years and we didn't get anything here in the Eastern Shore. Then I went on with my day, took my time to do everything, and even tried to do a last minute hair color deal with my last client. I didn't get off work till 7pm and i was supposed to get out of there at 6. Then I walked out to the parking lot, and it was just raining but freezing though, it was actually a rain and sleet mixture...I wasn't worried at all, and I decided to stop at the Babies R Us to pick up some Mustela baby facial wipes and a couple of Avent sippy cups for my daughter. I was in and out in a few minutes, then I headed at the gas station and filled up my tank. Then I drove northbound to pick my daughter up at my Mom's...

Then all of sudden as I was passing by Maryland/Delaware state line, the roads got bad. It was snowing so hard, I couldn't believe it. Then I started driving like a mom-mom, till I hit 30 mph. After a few minutes, everything was covered in white.

So the usual 40 to 45 minute drive from my work to my Mom's became 2 hours. Then from my Mom's to our house which usually takes me 10 minutes became 40 minutes-(the downside of driving in the snow).

It snowed for a while, it was crazy. Then my hubby finally got home, and he said it was terrible outside, the visibilty was almost zero.

We were happy though, even though we don't like the cold, we are happy that it finally snowed. It doesn't snow much here in the Eastern Shore, and if it does, its like a treat for everybody.

We took a few pictures today, everything was covered with the white fluffy stuff, and it continued to snow on and off the whole morning. It was our Lorelai's 3rd snow and the biggest snow day ever so far for her. It was a fun day for our little family. Our first Big March SNOW DAY !!!

I took this picture while hubby's getting rid of the snow on top of our cars

9 MONTH OLD BABY???

2009-02-04T18:20:00.000-08:00

My Lorelai is exactly 5 months old today, and i can't believe it !
We went to Walmart a few days ago to do some grocery shopping, and we put her in the stroller.We left the car seat in the car, because she is starting to get cramped in it- so we only used it in the car. And yes, once we get our tax refund, we're gonna have to buy a convertible car seat, because the infant one is not working for her anymore..........
She loves being in stroller, just being able to sit upright I guess, because she can see everything. She's at the point where she just observes every thing. And I just couldn't believe how well behave she is in public ( At home? Oh its a different story,LOL).
As we are going from aisle to aisle, I kept checking up on her to see if she's okay. She's just having fun, because she kept on babbling and smiling back at the people that smiles and talks to her. Then one lady said " Oh she's just so beautiful and adorable, how old is she 9 months?" And my husband and I were like (while we were giggling) " No ma'am, she a couple of days away from being 5 months old" And she said "Oh my, she's long, she's gonna be a tall when she gets older" And we all laughed including a few people that was eavesdropping on the whole conversation.
Well i guess, she looks like she's older. LOL..Actually she's on 6-12 month clothing, and she has a lot of clothes that she never had the chance to wear, which sucks, but what can you do? I am putting it away just in case i get pregnant again with a girl...???Um maybe when she turns 2 years, and then we are going to have to discuss it.

A Blog Copy of my Labor and Delivery Accounts

2009-01-28T21:02:00.000-08:00

This is the blog (from my friendster account)that i had made a few weeks after i gave birth. I haven't sign up for a blogspot account at that time...

October 20th, 2008
Labor and Delivery
Posted by majerr

Its been 6 weeks since i gave birth to my beautiful angel Lorelai Solfia. Physically i am exhausted and still recuperating from the birth experience………..
We finally decided to get pregnant after a year of contemplating, because we were just so content with just the two of us and thinking of having a child does not seem suitable at the time. Basically we were not ready. Okay i will be honest. I was not ready for my own selfish reasons…Then our friends Mike and Patty had a baby and we were there for them the whole entire time of Patty’s pregnancy for moral support and still after she had her baby girl Katherine. Then all of a sudden it hit us, we were ready. We decided to try earlier than we expected thinking might as well try now because there’s no way i will get pregnant right away. Or so we thought. I got pregnant after only a month and a half of trying. Anyways the whole pregnancy was a challenge considering i am a diabetic (type2), so i had to watch what i eat and give myself insulin shots for the whole 9 months. Let me tell you, the insulin shots were just so annoying to me, i just hated it and i had to do it 2-3 times a day. But i said to myself, “Whatever it takes so that my growing baby inside of me would come out healthy.” And the effort paid off…
The 38th week came, and at the doctor’s visit, we had been informed about the last ultrasound that we had. They estimated the baby’s weight to be 8 lbs and 7 oz. which he said was on the heavy side of the percentile.(My baby weighed in at 8 lbs and 1 1/4oz. so that was close!) Being diabetic and all it was inevitable to have a large baby anyway, so that was kind of a given. And he said that one of the risk of having a large baby is shoulder dystocia- a
case whereby after the delivery of the head, the anterior shoulder of the infant cannot pass below the pubic bone, or requires significant manipulation to pass below the pubic
bone. So he gave us an option of a vaginal delivery or a c-section. And we decided to try it vaginally, just because. And he also said that i’m going to have to be induced by my 39th week if labor does not start by then, so to eliminate the risk of the baby growing bigger inside of me.Between then and before the day of my induction, i tried different things to start my labor- walking, belly dancing, foot massage, and drinking herbal teas. My friend told me to have sex too, but that's the only thing that we did not do because i was just not in the mood. So anyways, they didn’t work, i was kinda dissappointed but oh well…
On a wednesday, september 3rd, we woke up at 4:30 am. We needed to be at the hospital by 5:30 for my labor induction. We got there 10 minutes early but had to wait because the hospital’s computer system was down, so registering took a little while… Finally we headed to the fourth floor of the hospital, the so-called Labor and Delivery floor (whoopteedoo!), and one of the nurses escorted us to our birthing suite. I was calm the whole time while the nurses start prepping me, hooking up my I.V.’s and stuff…We waited until 7 am for my OB/Gyn ( Dr. French), because they can’t start my induction till he’s in……………
My doc came in the room and started explaining the whole procedure,..Then he showed us a wooden stick, kinda like a thin drum stick, and it was the amnio-hook as they call it and he inserted it to break my bag of water to start the labor. That was weird, and all of a sudden a gush of liquid came out and it was a disgusting feeling let me tell you…Dr. French said that that should jump start my labor and an hour had passed my contractions came slightly. So he asked my nurse to administer Pitocin in my I.V. to help increase the labor and make my contractions stronger, oh they got stronger alright. The pain started becoming so unbearable and i asked my nurse for some pain medication, and she offered me Nubain and that put me to sleep. Then i woke up a couple of hours later still in pain and asked my nurse to knock me out again. A couple of hours later, i woke up, the first person i saw was Dr. French, and he checked if i’ve dilated some more, and i did, about 4 cm. Then i asked for an epidural for the pain. And it was great………
17 hours later, i was pushing, and oh it hurt so bad, i was screaming so loud but i didn’t care. I FELT EVERYTHING!.Dr. French injected my vagina with some numbing medicine and performed an episiotomy to give way for her head. So her head came out,, then all of a sudden there was a panic in the air because usually when a baby’s head’s out the entire body should slide out easily.So he cut me again thinking maybe that should do the job But her shoulders got stuck for a minute and i heard my doctor call in 4 nurses to push on my belly to get her out ASAP. Then a minute later (which felt like an hour) she was out (12:04 am, Thursday, Sept.4), but she was limp and she wasn't crying. One of the nurses got her and started clearing her nose and rubbed on her for a minute. And there you go, i heard her cry. But then they noticed that her entire left arm wasn’t moving-and that was the shoulder dystocia that i mentioned earlier.
I tore really bad, and they had to take me to the operating room to get me repaired. It took them a little over an hour, because it was a fourth degree perineal tear, which is the worst kind of an episiotomy. I just couldn’t believe it, you know, the severity of the situation. i wasn’t expecting all of that. Who would anyway. I thought everything’s going to be a breeze, because of all the pregnancy and baby shows that i’ve watched previously, the women on those shows made it look so damn easy. I never thought that i will have a difficult time with everything.
Her shoulder dystocia was scary for us, because we thought that her left arm was paralyzed. But the pediatrician that checked up on her said that it’s no big deal…2 weeks after her birthday, she started moving her left arm, and THANK YOU GOD FOR IT. And now she’s a healthy and happy baby.
My husband and I are just so grateful because she is truly a blessing for us. OUR FAMILY THAT I’VE BEEN LONGING FOR IS NOW COMPLETE….=)

LUCKY CHARM

2009-01-28T17:56:00.000-08:00

Yey tax season is finally here! And we are so thankful that we are getting some money back, yipee!!! Gosh we need this tax refund, and THANK YOU GOD because we are getting more this year. With the economy this bad, we are just grateful for every dollar that we are going to get.....

We are going to start Lorelai's college fund soon, and there are just so many college fund program options out there, and we have to do a lot of research on what's going to be the best regarding our financial situation---We just want her to be set in the future, and hopefully every thing's going to go smoothly by then. ( We got at least 15 years to wait, but it's good to save up for that now).....

Lorelai is growing so fast, its just crazy. Our love for her is just getting stronger every single day, and we're sure she knows it, because she is just happy baby ( well, most of the time she's happy, except for the occasional fussiness, because she's teething). She smile and giggles a lot now, and she babbles so loud, its hilarious, and she shrieks like a banshee occasionally, especially when she wants to get our attention, she's kinda like saying "Hey Mom/Dad, I want you to play with me, i am bored!" LOL !!! And during her bedtime, when we're rocking her to sleep, we used to sing lullabies to her, and she'll sing too. But now, we don't even have to sing to her at bedtime because she sings herself to sleep while we are rocking her, it's so funny. It seems like she's already independent in a way, its so amazing.

My hubby and I are always looking forward to each day-- the anticipation of finding out on what she's able to do next, and we haven't missed any of her milestones yet in spite of the both us working. We really have been blessed, our lives has been great since she was born, she is just our Lucky Charm.

Baby Goes to the Doctor

2009-01-15T10:59:00.000-08:00

We went to Lorelai's doctor today, because she's got a cold for 9 days now, and my husband and I are worried because its not going away.And she couldn't get a good sleep due to congestion. He said that there's nothing to worry about, that its just a common cold, and since its the winter season, we should expect babies/children to get a cold at least a few times. I think he said at least about 6-9 times a year. I think that's a lot ! He also said that she seems to be healthy, her eyes are bright, her skin is good and he asked us if she's having trouble eating and taking fluids and we said not really. Oh and she gained 2.5 lbs since the last times we were there, so she's 19 lbs. No wonder why every time i hold her for a few minutes i feel like I'm lifting weights, LOL! Its like weight training. I guess that's good for my arm muscles right :-)
Now, we're not that worried anymore, and we're just going to have to let her cold take its course. He told us to give her a 1/4 teaspoon of children's benadryl at night to help get a good sleep, and give her plenty of fluids.
Awww, Lorelai's very first cold :-( ....So this is what it feels like when your kids get sick? It a little nerve racking if you ask me. Whew !

what a cool hippo exam table

At the doc's exam room (Daddy's getting her ready for Dr. Scott)

With Mommy while waiting for the doc's orders before heading home.

And here she is chillin' on our bed with her favorite penguin chewy right after we got home from the doc's.

Something Better

2009-01-14T19:09:00.000-08:00

I've been a salon associate at the Hair Cuttery for 6 years now, and I love going to work most of the time. Except on those days when I'm feeling burned out which usually happens every Saturday. I love working on the weekends especially because we're busy for the most part. But lately, I've been noticing that i feel so different every time i come in to work. I told myself maybe, it's because business has slowed down due to the economy...A few of my clients don't come in as often as they should, because every body's been holding off on getting their hair done, which i completely understand, because "It ain't cheap to get your hair did honey !" LOL, and adding to that we raised our corporate prices and being one of the master stylist in the shop, my prices are slightly different from the regular service price. So there, i kinda feel bad for charging more but I must follow corporate pricing rules. And i am so grateful for my clientele for being so understanding in that regard.....
And then it hit me the other day, as I was driving to work. (Yes, I have plenty of time daydreaming and thinking and re-thinking a lot of things when i drive, because it's about 30 miles one way to my work in Salisbury. Gosh I just realize that i drive about 60 miles a day back and forth to work, and I've been driving that distance for 6 effin'years!!! Thank God that my car is fuel efficient, I love my Fusion, hehehe !). I told myself that "What if i go on my own?" I mean, I have enough experience in the hair business and i think it's time for me to think about having my own salon. And something inside of me that is telling me that I am better off if i have my own shop...I'm just not that happy working at HC anymore. It's not the company or the people that i work with. HC is a good salon to start at, and I owe it to the company, because if not for them, It wouldn't be possible for me to have such loyal clientele. Its just that I want something better. I want my own place, my own business, my own domain...
When i got home that night, I told my husband that i want to be a salon owner. I want my own business. And he said it's a good idea and he's happy to be on board with my future business venture...Then we discussed everything about my plans the whole night....
But first things first, I know that we just had a baby, and we're in a little tight squeeze financially at the moment. I am not going to go into details on what we talked about, but I am giving us about 2 to 3 years (hopefully), and by that time, everything must fall into place...
:-)

(My Girl) I've got sunshine on a cloudy day...

2009-01-10T21:34:00.000-08:00

Father and daughter's first duet. ( SOOO CUTE !!! )

There are no words to describe just how precious this moment was.

Sleepless Night

2009-01-06T19:33:00.000-08:00

I am exhausted. I only got 2 hours of sleep since last night because Lorelai's not feeling good, she's been cranky since last night. I noticed that when I picked her up from my mom's that she's got a runny nose, and I assumed she's got a cold. When we got home, I put her in her crib so that I can take a quick shower, but i couldn't because as soon as I put her down, she started crying. So I just resorted to just changing my clothes and decided to take a shower later. Then I fed her 'cause it's been 4 hours since the last time she had her bottle, and when she was full, she finally dozed off and put her on our bed right beside her dad instead of her crib. I took advantage of it, I turned on the humidifier in our bedroom and quickly hopped in the shower. When i got done, I checked up on her and noticed that she was a little restless and couldn't get comfortable. It was 3 a.m. that time, and I decided to hold her and let her lay on my chest and she fell asleep. But everytime i try to lay her down between me and my hubby, she would cry so I just held her all night so that she can get a good sleep. I could've asked my husband to relieve me, but I decided not to 'cause he has to work and I have the day off anyway.
And today, she's still super cranky and still have the runny nose, and I decided to go check out wedmd.com on how to treat a baby cold. I know that i could've just called her doctor, but I didn't. Anyways, then i clicked on an article about runny nose in infants, and it says that runny nose is one of the symptoms of teething. So there, that explains why she was drooling a lot lately and she's been sucking her fingers like crazy. Then I called my mom, and she told me to wet one of her clean washcloths, wring out the water, let it stay twisted and freeze it for a few minutes, then give it to her to chew on. And it soothed her gums I guess 'cause she kept on chewing on it for awhile. So while she was preoccupied with that, I did things that needed to be done such as a couple of chores and went right back to attending to her. Then she started being fussy again, and that went on all day.
Oh man, what a day it was. Now she's sleeping soundly on our bed and I am waiting for my hubby to come home so I can get my sleep. (HOPEFULLY.)

BAH HUMBUG???

2009-01-03T09:04:00.000-08:00

I am not going to blog about Christmas and new years, because to be honest-nothing really interesting happened, just the same old-same old gift giving and dinner. I know that its my baby's first Christmas ever, but i felt that she's too young to realize Christmas. But next year though, we are going to go all out for her, and she should be old enough to tear out gift wrappers, and holiday lights and or decor should be fascinating to her. And we didn't even bother to do anything for the new years my baby and I just slept all day while hubby's at work. ( BAH HUMBUG !! I KNOW ). And besides, Christmas and new years blog all over the net is inevitable, and I just don't want to get into it.
.......
Anyways, I just want to say that "parenthood" has finally gotten easier for my hubby and i. Its unbelievable that it took us a little while to settle down with everything perfectly. Now that i feel so much better with myself, i can finally enjoy being a mother. Its not like I didn't enjoy it before, but dealing with my recovery and Lorelai being a newborn, it was an arduous task.
Now that she's more expressive and interactive, we can easily figure out if she's happy or not. Whereas before, her cries are so confusing and it was so hard to figure out what she wants, kinda like trying to decipher an ancient writing.
We just love how she coos. It may sound gibberish but it's like music to our ears. Sometimes i tell my husband that I can't wait for her to talk and then I was like "Nope, I take it back, I can wait." Its so exciting when your baby reaches a certain milestone and you are just anxious about the next. And then you realize that for every milestone that she reaches, it means that she's growing so fast right before your eyes.
I remember when i was still pregnant with her 4 months ago, a lot of people told me "Kids grow up so fast, so cherish every moment while they're still little." Now, I completely understand what that means. I Just hope that my Lorelai would just stay little forever.
Yup, she is 4 months old and weighing 16.5 lbs. She doubled in size since she was born. She's more aware of her environment and she just now started to play with a couple of her toys. The way she bats at the toys that are attached to her swing, its so awesome to watch. Before she just stares at them and didn't know what to do...Another cool thing is, we started introducing her to baby cereal ( with the approval of her pediatrician of course) and she loves it, and seems to me that she's not satisfied with just formula anymore....
I was just pregnant 4 months ago, and now she's out smiling, cooing, giggling, batting at toys and eating cereal??? Its surreal.
Being a parent? There's nothing like it, especially being a mom. Our darling Lorelai Solfia just never ceases to amaze us. She's our bliss. We are just blessed with such a wonderful baby.

post thanksgiving

2008-11-28T21:19:00.000-08:00

OMG !!! I ate too much during the thanksgiving holiday and when i got home i puked! Ugh !!! Well, after watching what i ate and controlling portions for the last year and a half, then all of a sudden here comes another thanksgiving day, it went downhill after that. I'm sure mostly everybody ate more than their stomach can handle. The food is just so good during the holidays- not to mention, christmas is next. Dang it !!! Lol !!...I will do better by then, and i ain't eatin' like crazy........ The turkey i made.(not too shabby for my being lazy)

My mixed berry cheesecake (from the scratch). It's better than cheesecake factory's =) I got the recipe from "The Barefoot Contessa".

And the russian tea cakes/wedding cakes.

Yeah, who could resist holiday foods right??? :-)..................................

All the foods aside, I am just so grateful about everything that I have right now. I am thankful for my Mom being in remission from cancer. (Both my parents were diagnosed with cancer on the same year-2005, a couple of months apart; though my Father is not with us anymore, because he succumb to his cancer in '06, but i am forever grateful to the Lord to have had him in our lives.) I am thankful for my brothers and sisters in the Philippines, though i don't get to see them as much as i want to , i know that they love me, and i miss them so much. And most of all I am forever grateful to God for letting me have the family that i've always dreamed of--

and

especially for our beautiful angel Lorelai and her very first Thanksgiving Day.

Happy Thanksgiving to all !!!

2008-11-27T06:19:00.000-08:00

I know i just started this blog, and i haven't posted anything in what feels like a ages. I have a lot of things on my mind right now, and it's hard to put it in words. I am just busy with work, being a mom, and a wife, and I am a little overwhelmed at the moment. And still, here I am cooking and baking for our Thanksgiving. My mom was so nice to offer to let my daughter stay with her overnight so i can prep and cook and bake...We're going to have to do our thanksgiving dinner early today because my hubby and my stepdad has to go to work tonight-which sucks big time, but there's nothing we can do. The upside is, it's going to be a holiday pay for them. So that helps out in the whole financial crunch ( oh this economy!!!)..........
Well right now, my turkey is in the oven, and i am taking a break. It's making me hungry right now, because of the aroma that's lingering in the air. Gosh, I so love the smell of turkey in the holidays. This is my third time to cook a turkey by the way, and the last couple times, I did it with some olive oil, celery, carrots and onions and some herbs-it turned out great, thank God !!! This time, none of the veggies. I just made some herbed-butter rub and a cup of chicken stock with some poultry seasoning. I just have to wait for a couple of hours more and see how it's going to turn out. And last night, i had to prep a couple of dishes- tater tot casserole (my hubby's request to replace the green bean casserole), mac and cheese (my favorite)so after the turkey, all i have to do is stick in the oven, and for dessert I made a 9-inch cheesecake from the scratch, and it took the longest to make. It's a mixed berry cheesecake- the cake itself is in the fridge right now, and later I have to slice some strawberries and combine it with blueberries and I am going to melt some red currant jelly and mix it with my berries and it's going to be the glaze for the cheesecake. (YUM !!!) And another is, I am baking some cookies - russian tea cakes/wedding cakes (my mom's request-it's her favorite).........
So this is it for right now, because i have to go and make the dough for the tea cake. (It's just so exciting too, It's my Lorelai's first thanksgiving.)

winter's coming to town

2008-11-18T22:30:00.000-08:00

The summer went by so swiftly, that i couldn't even remember what i did then..Oh wait i was prego, lol ! I was trying to enjoy the last few weeks of my pregnancy.......
NOW, its almost the start of the winter season. I used to love the cold weather, and now i hate it. I guess my diabetes is affecting my hot and cold sensation, especially the cold. (GRRRRRR!). This week has been really, really chilly. They are calling for snow next week, because they said that the high is only going to be in the 40's. I am not ready for the snow yet, i don't want to wear these stupid winter clothes, they're so heavy, they weigh like 30 lbs. :-(
I miss the warm weather already, i guess i'm just gonna have to wait. HMPH!

first giggles

2008-11-18T04:19:00.000-08:00

Leaving for work was heart breaking. But i kept my composure, i didn't cry or anything, i just hugged her and kissed her a million times before i left. It was a very good day actually. Because a couple of days ago, i was so worried that when i do get back to work, i'm afraid that i am going to miss a lot of my "Lorelai's First" moments. .....Maybe there's going to be a couple that i'm going to miss, and i have to get myself ready for that. i can only hope for the best...... Miraculously enough, when Hubby was playing with her, he made this odd sounds and started doing the "cookie monster" voice and kept on saying "No, no, no, no, no !" It was a bit annoying for me, but my Lorelai loved it--THEN LO AND BEHOLD, WE HEARD HER VERY FIRST CUTE GIGGLES !!! This happened 2 hours before i had to leave.

And that made me feel better about going to work. I couldn't stop talking about it with my co-workers and clients.I hoped they didn't get annoyed by me. LOL !!! ( It's one of my most cherished moments ever.)

Post pregnancy hormones???

2008-11-16T14:06:00.000-08:00

Today is the last day of my maternity leave. I am so going to miss every second of the last 10 weeks that i spent with my daughter. Its driving me nuts to think that, tomorrow, i will be leaving her for several hours. I haven't been away from her for more than an hour since we left the hospital..I know that she'll be in good hands anyway, because Mama Grace (my mom) is going to take care of her. I guess, this is just one of the things that i have to go through. My stomach is churning just thinking about it....
But i gotta go back to work, i gotta make lots and lots of moolah. Yeah, actually.. I can't wait to go back to work either. As much as i don't want to leave my daughter, I gotta go back- i love my job, I miss my colleagues and my ever loyal clientele. This is going to seem strange, but I also miss the smell of perm solutions and the ammonia in haircolor, and hairspray ( LoL !!! ). I'm excited to utilize my shears and clippers again and get my creative juices flowing. I can't wait to do hilights, it's one of my favorite things to do in the shop. Everytime i do a highlighting service, i get in to this trance like state. It relaxes me. Some people meditate, I on the other hand hilight somebody's hair. =) Weird huh ?! Gosh, i really do miss work. Aside from that, I miss getting tips. That's one of the perks of being a hairstylist. I am just so fortunate that my clients do take care of me in that aspect. Especially now that i have a child, my husband and I gotta make, make make and make and save, save save and save some money. I know Lorelai is only 10 weeks old, but we are already planning on saving up for her college...................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................
Here i am again, thinking way too much, it makes my head hurt. I gotta remind myself to take it easy nowadays..... Oh i think its these post pregnancy hormones.....Again, I introduce myself to: MOTHERHOOD (Whooptedoo!!!)

A couple of lessons learned

2008-11-14T20:25:00.000-08:00

Before i got pregnant, my hubby and i enjoyed being just the two of us. Every time we're together, it's like other people don't exist in this earth. We just did everything what we wanted to do as long as it was feasible, but sometimes, spontaneity was our favorite noun...We kinda miss the part of our lives when we wanted to go somewhere, and we will just get dressed and leave the house, or when we just wanted to stay in bed all day long, then so be it. And we weren't morning people either. We were just fortunate that we get to choose our work schedules. Both of us worked the swing shift, which was perfect for us. We hated mornings,. (Enough said).............
"Honey, those days are long gone!" i said to him while we're talking and dwelling about our carefree episodes.
It's just so amazing how this tiny human being that we created with the help of God, had changed our lives the minute after she was born. I felt like our future suddenly shifted on a new ground.
"It's not going to be just you and me against the world anymore." I told my husband on the second day at the hospital, while we were staring at her, in awe. All of a sudden, the world becomes very surreal when the life that flashes before your eyes isn't even your own anymore.

Then, we finally got to bring her home. It was a bit scary at first, because we didn't know what to expect, you know with a baby in the house...And the sleepless nights began...The first few days was tough. I mean, we knew that it ain't going to be easy, but we just didn't know the scale of how hard it is going to be. Getting through the next couple of weeks was particularly daunting, especially because i was in so much pain. I didn't even know the last time i was that tired or frazzled. Thank God for my husband, he was a really good sport with everything. i thought that he will have a hard time with the feeding and diaper changes, but he was completely hands on. ( Oh my, i don't even know why i'm nervous about going back to work, i forgot that i have a loving and caring husband that's capable of doing mostly everything, especially meeting my household demands. LOL !)
Then after the 8th week, we were finally settling into a routine. But the sleepless nights was still there. Sometimes Lorelai will veer off schedule. And the recovery period pain started subsiding, which made a big difference- i was starting to feel comfortable. I just decided to enjoy the remaining couple of weeks of my leave, and i sleep whenever she sleeps, which i should've done in the first place...Slowly but surely, everything got easier.
It just dawned on me that it's gonna suck a little when i get back to work, because my hubby and I are not going to have the same schedule anymore. But oh well. We gotta do what we gotta do for the sake of our lovely Lorelai.
Parenthood is a lot to take in. A bit overwhelming but exciting at the same time. Just looking forward to what this life is gonna bring...
***A couple of lessons that I've learned so far:
1) Sleep when the baby sleeps.
2) You suddenly become a morning person.
3) Being paranoid is a huge part of parenthood.
4) And parenthood is physically exhausting but emotionally rewarding.

:-)

TWILIGHT THE MOVIE (can't wait to see it)

2008-11-13T21:38:00.001-08:00

I've been going to Barnes and Noble for 2 years now. And how many times that i walked by through the young adult section and i've passed by the Twilight book so many times that i didn't even bother to pick it up and check it out. A friend of mine told me then that it has good reviews, but still didn't bother to check it out. Until 3 months ago when Kristin (a good friend of mine and my co-worker) told me " Hey you gotta read Twilight cuz' the film is coming out in November!" and i said okay i will check it out. Then the next day, a lot of my co-workers are reading it, and of course it sparked my interest. I went and got the paper back and started reading it on one of my days off, and after the first chapter, i got hooked. I finished it in 2 days- then bought the rest of the saga so that i have something to do while i was on maternity leave. I finished the rest within 3 weeks. I just couldn't put it down it was crazy...
Stephenie Meyer is awesome ! It just fascinates me how she came up with the whole saga. I went to her website and found out that it all started back in '03 when she had a dream (the meadow scene in the book) about this teenage girl and vampire in the woods. I just couldn't believe it that somebody can write a book inspired by a simple dream.
I just can't wait to see the movie. I just hope that its going to exceed my expectation. I'm wondering how Edward Cullen's body is going to look like when it sparkles under the sun. Is it gonna be special fx make-up or CGI maybe?

finally close to being healed (4th degree-episiotomy)

2008-11-11T01:56:00.000-08:00

September 4th, Thursday at 12:04 am. I gave birth to my beautiful daughter Lorelai. That was 10 weeks ago, and thank GOD because my vagina is finally close to being healed. I had an episiotomy-4th degree, the worst one. Because my daughter had a shoulder dystocia. Its still a bit sore, but the pain significantly subsided. The first four weeks was hell, because it hurt like a bitch. A simple thing like sitting down on our couch was unbelievably painful. I couldn't really sit down anywhere unless i put my daughter's boppy pillow on the surface where i was planning to land my butt on. (Yes, that $40-50 thingamajig that's supposed to be a feeding and infant support pillow) Instead i used it as a butt support. Sitting on that thing got old after a month. I just wanted to sit comfortably on our couch and it was impossible. I am going to put it this way- Just imagine that your entire private area is badly bruised. When you apply a little bit of pressure on a bruise, it hurts. Well, multiply that pain by fifty. Ugh !!! Not to mention that when you stand up for a little while, like when you have to wash the dishes, that downward pressure when you're standing, it feels like your vagina is going to detach and fall off...And i think that's the best explanation of my recovery period after a 4th degree episiotomy.
To those women who had it easy, i just want to tell you guys that you're all so lucky. Even women that had a c-section, at least your vajayjay is the same. Because i don't think it's ever going to be the same again.
But you know what? Everytime i look at my daughter, especially when she smiles at me, i forget all the pain. SHE'S WORTH IT !

NERVOUS

2008-11-10T08:18:00.000-08:00

I have exactly 1 week left before i get back to work, and i feel like what i felt when i was preparing for my cosmetology state board exam a few years back. Well the reason why i feel this way i think is because i am nervous about being a working mom. I am trying to prepare myself because i will be juggling a lot of responsiblities- work, being a mother, and a wife... I am nervous about leaving my daughter to go to work, i will be gone for 8 to 10 hours and i will be thinking about her every second of the day, and i will probably call my hubby every half hour to check on them-at the same time i will be doing client consultations, formulating hair chemicals, and catching up with everybody at work. And how in the world am i going to function properly at work if i will be constantly thinking about what's going on at home..And when i get home, i have to think on how am i going to be as a wife again, because i have been neglecting my husband. Let's just say that i haven't been good in performing my wifely duties......... UGH ! Just thinking about it is so overwheling...Its not that i don't trust my husband about taking care of things at home and a 10 week old baby, its just that i'm a little bit of a control freak and i want things done a certain way. ( Who doesn't?).. Or maybe i am just thinking way too much...We will find out won't we?????