Terrible Twos is a Myth..Or so I thought !

We just celebrated our little munchkin's 2nd birthday not too long ago, and I still couldn't believe that she is officially 2 years old.
When I was pregnant (which still seems like yesterday) I always heard mothers say "Oh my god, when my son/daughter hit the terrible two phase, it was like a huge nightmare! So enjoy being pregnant because when they're out, they're harder to take care of, and watch out when they turn 2!" After hearing the same thing over and over, I just decided to ignore what they have said and told myself that terrible twos is just a myth...
OR SO I THOUGHT!!!!!...
Now that she is more independent and knows how to say "NO" when she doesn't get her way-OMG! she can throw the biggest hissy fits. Just this morning, when it was time to change her pull-ups, she cried, screamed, banged her head on the floor and kicked me because I pulled her bottoms, and she wasn't in the mood to get her pull ups changed. I was so frustrated, I almost cried. Does this mean that I am a bad parent because I don't know how to control my own child? (sigh). Well I don't know the answer to that...They were right, it was a huge nightmare, and I find myself so helpless during these episodes.
What just happened to my gorgeous baby? She developed from being so cute and always happy into a fiend of mischief overnight.
I guess I'll just have to consider this as a learning curve. But for now, Oh please fairy god of motherhood, give me more patience and luck ;-)

Being far away from my child for the first time

Wow! It has been a while since my last post..Well a lot of things had happened. I went back to school, we moved back to my mom's house to save money and I got so busy trying to tackle everything. Still I find motherhood a very hard work, especially if you add a career change making decision. But so far I am making it work. I have two classes this semester; and I am happy to say that I got done early with one of my classes, so all I have to do is go to school on Mondays. I am doing great with school!! I am so elated...Hubby is very supportive with everything. And I want to thank God for giving me a wonderful husband; and he is a very hands on dad, that makes it a lot easier for me...

Speaking of my loving husband, we got a phone call in the afternoon of Easter from his older brother Charley. He told us that Grandpa Charley (my father-in-law) passed away....
My husband and daughter flew up to Michigan yesterday for Grandpa Charley's funeral...

May you rest in peace Charley Simeon Kerr <3 <3 <3

Aside from being so sad for my husband and his family's loss, I am very lonely because my child has never been away from me. The fact that she is 500 miles away is so heartbreaking. So this is how it feels when you are far away from your child? It sucks, big time !!! I actually cried last night because I miss them so much, and I did not sleep well at all.
I know they will be back on Saturday, and I cannot wait.

For the mean time, I am just going to try and keep myself busy. My sympathy are with them up in Michigan.

Changing Careers in the Future

After a few years of hiatus, I have finally decided to go back to school and pursue a nursing degree. I strongly feel that being a nurse is my calling after contemplating for a while. Lately, I have been really thinking about my family's future, and decided that going back to college is best for us. I want to see myself being satisfied in every aspect of my life someday, doing the kind of job that I enjoy most which is to help people. I cannot imagine how many times that I have pictured myself in a hospital setting particularly in the ER, doing all the nurse stuff, like in an episode of a discovery channel hospital show.
And now here I am, just waiting for the spring semester to start so I can go ahead and start a new career.
Don't get me wrong, being a hairstylist is one of those good lucrative careers out there right now, but the only thing is, benefits and retirement is not that good. I need a long term career with very good benefits and retirement and because i really don't see myself utilizing my comb and scissors for 25 more years. But I owe it to being one though, because it taught me how to be a people-person. It made me understand cultural diversity and how to cope with it, just by meeting new individuals everyday from almost every part of the world and having interesting conversations, in which I am sure that it will come in handy when I deal with a new set of co-workers and patients someday. It surprises me at times on how much a person opens up to you just by doing their hair. It makes me feel like I am their therapist. :-) I have probably met hundreds and hundreds of people in the last 7 years of being a hairstylist. I have learned a lot and I certainly developed a great bond with most of them. So for that, I am grateful that I am a hairstylist.
But its finally time to do what I have always wanted to do. I know it took a very long time to decide whats best for my family especially for ME. To start off, I am going back part time for my first semester because I really don't want to overwhelm myself, and start from there. I am still going to work as a hairstylist while being in school. I don't want us to be broke of course! It will probably take me a couple of years till I finish, but I am determined and optimistic about all of this. And it will make me feel so much better as a person. Its time for me to work and quit bumming around.
Oh gosh I will be so busy juggling work, school and motherhood. Though I know it is all going to be worth it in the end :-)

Thoughts on Planning my Little Munchkin's 1st Birthday

Okay! Lorelai's 1st Birthday is coming up so rapidly. It'll be here in 3 weeks, and I am racking my brain planning for it. I've thought of a theme already- Ladybug Theme, 'cuz she is our lucky charm and we ocassionally call her ladybug...I've figured out what kind of foods to serve, and I've decided that I am going to make her birthday cake instead of ordering from a store. I told myself that this is my daughter's 1st birthday and I am going to make it so damn personal and special, so making the cake myself will make it incredibly special.
Three weeks is not that long, and I am buying things here and there whenever I get the chance and trying to stretch the budget, because we don't have the money to buy things all at once. And its so sad sometimes because my siblings are all in the Philippines. I wish they are all here to help me plan this party, especially my older sister, she's a great party planner and I am sure she will make my life so much easier if she was here. But I am thankful at the same time 'cuz at least my Mom's here to help me out, but the truth is, you can't really rely her on party planning. Albeit that she will help with the cooking and stuff, but it is all on me baby !!!.......
I've bought the plates, plastic silverware, balloons, streamers, table liners and some cute decorations for the tablescape, the cake pan, the #1 candle and the party favors. So a couple of days before the birthday, all I have to do is buy the ingredients for the food and the cake. Oh man ! I am going to contribute to Sam's Club's revenue on that shopping day, BIG TIME !!! LOL !
It sounds like I am possibly going to go overboard with her 1st birthday, but I don't care really. A lot of people told me that there's no reason to do a lot because they won't even remember it. So I was just like nodding and agreeing with them when they were saying these things, but in the back of my head, I said "This is a very big deal, 'cuz this her very first birthday! So I am going to make it extra special for all of us. And I will make sure to get good pictures and videos so she can see it when she gets older." Well, its my child and I will do what I think is best for her and all of us.
Well, I guess we shall see if I am really going to go overboard with all of this and I am crossing my fingers that I will live up to my expectations...........Oh I think I am just going looney over this.

To summarize my life for the past few months, I'll just say "REALLY BUSY". I haven't blogged in a while I know; life's just so hectic for me right now....
My last entry was about Lorelai's VCUG, and I am happy to say that the results came back normal. Its just probably some kind of a health fluke. And so far she's been growing up right before our eyes. She's 11 months ! Wow ! Where did time go??? She'll be 1 next month....
I just realized that if you have a child, you can't ever, ever be selfish. Every thing's about them, and they can devour your time, hence your whole life. Although in exchange of that, they are so much fun, and they make you understand that life is just not great in this earth without children. Just like the old adage "Children are God's Blessings". And yes having a child is just like feeling God's love.
Being a parent, especially being a mom, is something different. I feel like I'm working 24/7, even in my sleep, I dream about work, the baby's well being, our household, laundry,driving and washing dishes. It just never ends. I am not gonna lie and say "Oh it's a piece of cake!". Yeah right! Its rough, and sometimes I feel like I want to cry because I'm not sure if I'm doing every thing right. Or I don't even know what right or wrong is in regards to raising a child. I know it has been 11 months, but I am still overwhelmed. It doesn't matter how many times I talk to different people about how they deal with parenthood, I still feel like nobody understands me but me. So here I am just trying to take it all in, and also trying to do whats best for me and my family.
Well enough of this whining..I'm sure I'll figure a lot of things out as I go.
My hubby and baby are asleep, and that's all I care about for now. The two people that I mostly care about are resting, and that puts me at ease to know that they are here with me in the other room-and they're off to dreamland :-)

Voiding CystoUrethrogram

I woke up one morning last month, because I felt that my baby Lorelai is shivering ( yes she sleeps in between us, and I am pro c0-sleeping ) and I immediately looked at her and she was ashy,her lips were kind of bluish. And I talked to her softly while looking at her eyes to see if she would smile, because she smiles a lot especially first thing in the morning. She was just staring in space and her whole body was shaking like she was in the freezer.I put my hand on her forehead and it was warm to the touch. That freaked me out and I shook my sleeping husband's body, and I was panicking. He stood up in shock, and I ordered for him to get a thermometer right away. It registered 101.9 F. And as my husband was in the process of calling her doctor, she threw up, and that freaked us out even more....
We got to the doctor's office and we told him what happened. He checked her temperature again and it was 100.5 this time. Then several minutes later he said that she needed to get admitted at the hospital, and she's going to go through a series of test. He called in and let the hospital staff know that we are on our way.
We were walking so fast, we dashed through the automatic sliding doors to the admissions. And a minute later we headed up to the pediatric floor.
The nurses didn't waste no time and started with a plethora of medical tests-starting with getting some blood work. Seeing her being poked with needles and of course she was crying hysterically it breaks my heart. My husband and I were crying too, because we couldn't do anything. Those tests needed to be done. They had a hard time finding a vein, it took them 5 times till they got some blood. Then they had to use a catheter to get a urine sample because she just wasn't peeing at that time-that made me cry so hard because she was crying hysterically-I know damn well that that catheter thing hurt really bad-can you just imagine how painful it must have been for her?. They also did an ultrasound and x-ray. And the last was a spinal tap-to check for meningitis-the doctor made us leave the room so I didn't see the actual procedure, and i don't think i can handle that one. Just hearing her painful cries in the hallway broke my heart even more, and I cried even harder. It was just a very stressful day for all of us. I know it was too much for her little body, but they have to find out the source of her fever...
She had a high fever episode that night of 103.6-and thank God that we are already in the hospital and they immediately gave her some tylenol to help lower it down.
The next day, they found e.coli in her urine. The doc explained that it was a bad case of a urinary track infection,hence the source of the fever. He ordered a couple of antibiotic shots. Then we stayed another day because she needed to be fever-free for 24 hours before she can be discharged.
I wasn't expecting that they take UTI's in infants very seriously so then we had to go to the Nemours Children's Hospital in Wilmington Delaware. In fact we went today and we saw a nephrologist. She's suspecting that her bladder might be having a reflux, so we have to come back next week for another test. The test is called VCUG-Voiding CystoUrethrogram which they are going to have to drain her bladder and fill the bladder with a iodinated contrasting agent and then she's going to have to void under a camera to see how her bladder and kidneys work. I guess its like an angiogram, except its in the excretory/urinary system.
I just hope that every thing's going to be ok. I am still stressed about all of this....

I guess this is what a mother feels when her child is sick. IT SUCKS !!!

march snowflakes

I woke up really early yesterday morning, the first day of March. Instead of going to the bathroom first, I peeked through the window just to see if its snowing. Because the night before, the weather channel said that there might be possible snow showers...I was like "Okay, no snow." So I went on with my Sunday morning ritual, whilst my hubby and baby were still sleeping-then I headed to work.

Everybody at work were talking about a snow storm coming in, and they were expecting for some 4-6 inch accumulation. And I said I'll believe it when I see it." Because how many times that they have called for snow for the last couple of years and we didn't get anything here in the Eastern Shore. Then I went on with my day, took my time to do everything, and even tried to do a last minute hair color deal with my last client. I didn't get off work till 7pm and i was supposed to get out of there at 6. Then I walked out to the parking lot, and it was just raining but freezing though, it was actually a rain and sleet mixture...I wasn't worried at all, and I decided to stop at the Babies R Us to pick up some Mustela baby facial wipes and a couple of Avent sippy cups for my daughter. I was in and out in a few minutes, then I headed at the gas station and filled up my tank. Then I drove northbound to pick my daughter up at my Mom's...

Then all of sudden as I was passing by Maryland/Delaware state line, the roads got bad. It was snowing so hard, I couldn't believe it. Then I started driving like a mom-mom, till I hit 30 mph. After a few minutes, everything was covered in white.

So the usual 40 to 45 minute drive from my work to my Mom's became 2 hours. Then from my Mom's to our house which usually takes me 10 minutes became 40 minutes-(the downside of driving in the snow).

It snowed for a while, it was crazy. Then my hubby finally got home, and he said it was terrible outside, the visibilty was almost zero.

We were happy though, even though we don't like the cold, we are happy that it finally snowed. It doesn't snow much here in the Eastern Shore, and if it does, its like a treat for everybody.

We took a few pictures today, everything was covered with the white fluffy stuff, and it continued to snow on and off the whole morning. It was our Lorelai's 3rd snow and the biggest snow day ever so far for her. It was a fun day for our little family. Our first Big March SNOW DAY !!!

I took this picture while hubby's getting rid of the snow on top of our cars